Matthew 18: 21-35

Forgiveness and Mercy
In these verses Jesus commands us to show mercy and forgiveness. Peter comes to Him and asks Him how many times he has to forgive someone and He tells Peter to forgive as many times as it takes. He then goes on to tell a story illustrating the fact that we were forgiven ourselves so we could pass that forgiveness on to others. “Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you” Jesus narrates in His story. He commands us to forgive from our heart. The story is simple to understand but one of the hardest (I find) to put into practice.

Lately I am struggling with a hardened heart towards someone who wronged me. I loved this person and I was hurt. I certainly had my share of blame in the whole circumstance but that doesn’t change the fact that I was hurt.

“Lord, how do I forgive this person?” I ask. I tell Him that I know what He commands but I just don’t know how to pull it off. I hurt too much inside. The wound is still raw. I ask Jesus, “How can I deal with the resentment I hold towards this person?” I want to move towards healing. When I look at all that Jesus has done for me and forgiven me of, it makes sense for me to choose to forgive those that hurt me. I know that by forgiving this person it will free me from the festering resentment that I feel. I am certainly willing to forgive but I just can’t write it off and let it go.

I plead with the Lord to take this thorn just like Paul did in II Corinthians 12:8-9. I know that God’s grace is all I need and that His power is made perfect in weakness. I can spout off several verses about this but I don’t experience them in my life. I have the head knowledge but not the heart transformation when it comes to forgiveness. “Why Lord, why?”

I know I don’t spend enough time on my knees before the Lord for this particular situation. It is almost like I enjoy my festering wound. It sounds silly I know but why else would I not let go of my hurt and forgive this person as Christ has forgiven me? It doesn’t help that I come from a family that doesn’t forgive. Grudges last for decades and feelings remain bitter and hurt well after some of these people leave the earth for their eternal resting place. I have a visual reference for how unforgiveness can destroy lives and make people miserable yet I cling to my anger and discord like it is a prized possession. Do I enjoy this false martyrdom that I have placed upon myself?

The NLT Life Recovery Bible has a section on forgiveness that says by hanging on to the pain we have suffered at the hands of others it will lead to emotional baggage that will hinder our walk with the Lord. It says that forgiving others is an important part of turning our will over to God. I have a hard time with this. For example I have tried to fast before with absolutely no success. I can’t even turn my desire for food over to God and do without for a short period of time. I talk myself out of it at the first hunger pang. Why do I struggle with turning my will over to God if this is something I truly want to do deep down inside of me?

The NLT Bible goes on to say that forgiving others is not excusing what they have done but we simply recognize that we have been hurt and we turn the matter over to God. This will help us to face the truth about our own pain and rid us of any excuse to continue our compulsive behavior because of what has been done to us.

Maybe it’s time to get rid of the excuses. Pray for me.

Have a great day. May God be with you.